Bolt: It’s Official. My Inner Child is Dead.

Posted by ScuzzBuster

November 23, 2008

I can’t say I was excited for Bolt, Disney’s first big non-Pixar CGI animated film. I guess part of that comes from the fact that pretty much the only good thing coming from Disney in the form of animation has been from the Pixar side. Even Pixar’s worst is top-notch entertainment. But the Walt Disney corporation over the last decade or so seems to be almost as devoid of entertainment as anything George Lucas works on.

However, an animated 3-D comedy from Walt Disney is something I would have been pissing myself to get to when I was 10. Unfortunately, now that I’m on a collision course with 40, I generally only piss myself in the last 30 minutes of a 120 minute plus run time film at which I’ve purchased a large soda (or not making it into a gas station fast enough on long car trip driving through Ohio — but I digress).

I’ve convinced myself recently that it’s not me that’s changed, it’s today’s animation. Today’s comic books. Today’s sitcom. They’ve all gotten shitty. Why can’t they make ‘em like the did when I was a kid? Maybe they do, because even though I came out of Bolt finding very little if anything wrong with it, I can’t say that I really enjoyed it.

It’s about a dog, voiced by John Travolta, who is the star of a hit television show about a superhero canine. The catch is that the producer of the show thinks that the only way to provoke a believable performance from the dog is to employ method-acting techniques making the mutt always believe that the situations in which he and his owner Penny, Miley Cyrus, are caught up in are real.

Of course, this means that he actually believes he has super powers like heat vision and a bark that can demolish homes. When Bolt get’s lost and has to take to wandering out in the real world searching for his master, comedy ensues and a good time is had by all.

The movie has a pretty solid little heart. It’s well written. The characters are likeable. It has some pretty funny moments. None of this changes the fact that I could have walked out with 10 minutes left and gone to my deathbed without ever really wondering or caring about how it ends.

I recommend that if you have a kid that wants to see this, then take he, she or it to the movie. As kids movies go, this a really one of the more tolerable ones you’re going to get.

However, bypass the 3-D showings all together and just go to a standard showing. There’s really absolutely no reason for this to be in 3-D other than to cause irritation. Other than a few shots that demonstrate some nice depth, I have no idea what the reasoning for 3-D was other than it seems to be the trend now with CGI films to make alternate 3-D versions and since there were a handful of trailers for upcoming 3-D CGI films it looks to keep assaulting us.

I still think that polarized 3-D is an awesome technology, but it still is a distraction for a standard length feature. While the glasses don’t really give me a headache, they do make the eyes work harder. When I drop the glasses I can feel stress coming off my eyes and I suddenly realize that that my peepers are not used to working so hard to pay attention to something. It’s kind of like taking off a heavy backpack after a long walk. Also, I still love a crisp, clean picture, and there’s always a dulling of colors and clarity with any 3-D. Granted, it’s a lot better than the old-fangled red/blue 3-D glasses, but it’s still not as bright and pretty as it should be.

As far as the movie goes, there were only a couple of things that really push the film beyond being a ho-hum decent kid’s comedy to being worthwhile. First, is Mark Walton, who voices Rhino, the hamster who accompanies Bolt on his journey. Rhino has watched the Bolt program on television (from his hamster ball) and also buys into the superhero dog’s powers. This character is funny as hell and produced all but one or two of the audible chuckles I got from this flick.