LOST: 316. “We’re not going to Guam, are we?”
I have to admit that I spent the majority of my life buying into a lot of BS. Whatever the paranormal flavor of the week was I was usually right up front to buy the book or watch the special on the so called “Learning” or “Discovery” Channels. In recent years, I’ve found much comfort in the real world, though as I’ve discovered the wonderful world of critical thinking. This in some ways is hurting my ability to view Lost through objective eyes at times. I can stretch pretty far to buy into the whole paranormal arc of Lost, but ultimately, sometimes it just stretches me just a bit too far, and that’s when it crosses the line from Sci-fi and into some of the crazier magic elements.
This is a minor quibble with Wednesday night’s episode 316. I’m still completely on board with the current season, but when we started bringing in the entire “recreating the conditions of the original flight” scenario and Locke’s corpse needing something that belonged to Jack’s father I found all that just kind of silly. I can buy time travel and inter-dimensional wackiness and all because there is a fine, tiny thread connecting it to some real science. Time travel is not an impossibility, Einstein proved it.
But when you start bring “voodoo” elements into the picture it is a bit of a turn off. Don’t give me a voodoo storyline and try to dress it up with the outer garb of some basic fringe science. I know this all sounds like a massive cop out for someone that has loved this series from the first episode, but it’s really just kind of a minor irritation in what continues to shape up as pretty good drama so far.
I’m still a little apprehensive about what may come. Now that they are back to the island, it’s time to get the real story underway and start to try to explain why the heck they need to be back there to fix whatever the hell it is they need to fix whyever they hell they need to fix it.
And damn this show for adding more subversive drama. Now we get to play the “secrets” game for who knows how long. What happened with Kate? Where’s the rugrat? What brought Naveen and Hurley to that flight? The beautiful thing about Lost is the is that despite the craziness that is going on everywhere it never loses site of the fact that the only reason we keep buying tickets for this ride week after week and season after season is that it knows how to keep us interested in the characters. Now there’s definitely some ’splainin to do when it comes to what’s going on with some of them. Like the crack dealer, they feed us just enough to keep us coming back for more.
Because in my recent $700.00, 20 minute phone consultation with psychic Sylvia Brown she told me that using bullet point lists will increase my chances for happiness in my life, here is my weekly State of Lost report:
• “We’re not going to Guam, are we?” One thing Lost has never been short of is wonderful supporting characters. This week we get good old Frank Lapidus back. Frank, played by Jeff Fahey, was one of the highlights of season 4 as the helicopter pilot hired by the Widmore crew for the luxury death cruise to the island. This week, not only do we get his welcome return, but we get a clean-shaven Frank to boot. It just doesn’t get any better than Frank’s reaction as he comes out to greet Jack and slowly realizes that the passenger compliment of his Guam flight happens to be the Oceanic 6 (or most of it). The look on his face was the epitome of someone who knows they are in for a bad day.
• John Locke: Martyr for the Cause. I have to admit, as much as I think John Locke has been the nimrod of the month since the discovery of the hatch in season one, I’m excited that we finally get to see his journey off the island next week when we go back into classic Lost flashback mode. Now that we know that he killed himself strictly for the purpose of making the Oceanic 6’s return trip to the island possible it certainly adds a much more dramatic and interesting element to the sacrifice. We, of course got classic John Locke assholishness even in death by the end of 316. We expected his “suicide note” to Jack to contain some vital information, clue or advice about what is to come. In the end though, pure Locke. “I wish you had believed me.” In other words, John is basically telling Jack that this is all his fault. Thanks John! Now we still have to wonder if Terry O’Quinn’s involvement with the show will now be relegated to flashbakcs only or if they’re actually going to try to resurrect the sunuvabitch.
• Where Ya Ben? Anyone that watches Lost that didn’t know immediately that Linus was off to kill Penny Widmore when he announced he had a promise to keep to an old friend should turn in their fan club card. Of course, anyone that watches Lost that knew this and still thinks that’s what actually happened should be in the same boat (pun intended). We now know that Desmond is part of the grand plan for the island, so if Ben did head down this road this spells trouble. One thing we know about Ben Linus is that he has no problem with people heading to their death, but he’s never really been one that likes to pull the trigger himself. Something tells me Penny is still alive, brother. Even if Ben could have killed Penny, can we see him killing an infant, too? It still seems like Ben and Desmond are in for another unpleasant reunion, though.
• Adults Night Out. As some of you may have read my bitching and moaning over the course of season 5 so far about dragging kids to the island, my wish has come true. THANK YOU. NO KIDS.
• Don’t pick up that drink, Jack. As a person who has enjoyed one too many…well, several thousand too many drinks back in my darker days, I have a soft spot for hard luck alcoholic characters. That’s why Jack’s been back on my good side just a bit. This week, it seems that the forces of voodoo have conspired to keep Jack from stepping back across the edge. A cell phone ring in the bar, a strange noise from the bedroom. Take it from me, any alcoholic worth his salt would have gulped that drink after he hung up that phone or downed that whiskey before he went to the bedroom to check out the noise. Looks like the writers are not going to just let the addiction angle disappear, though. This is a good thing. Too often, television treats addiction so amateurishly. A character puts down the drink and the addiction is cured. It’s not that easy.
• Season 6 Plot Speculation: No spin-off idea this week. Instead, my suggestion for where season 6 should go. With all the key players back in place on the Island, season 6 should begin with the Big Revelation: The Dharma Initiative is actually a branch of the Church of Scientology. As it turns out, John Locke is the reincarnation of the galactic warlord Xenu, and it is his return that the Dharma group had been trying prevent through their experimentation. The Others and their destruction of the Dharma initiative was an attempt to allow Xenu’s escape from his imprisonment and rebirth as John Locke. However, some of the Dharma Initiative survived the slaughter are now able to save the Island and the planet from Xenu’s curse and his attempt to inflict all humans with psychological maladies through body Thetans. However, the surviving members of Dharma are only willing to save people that pay the $7300 it will cost to reach level 2 in the stages to become a Scientology designated “Clear.” Dharma will then continue to protect all people that continue to pay for the coursework and testing. The series ends when Jack finally has had enough of all of it and simply decides to boat off the Island and head back to the bar.
I give this week’s Lost 316 stars out of a possible 325.
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Tags: Lost, TV Reviews
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2 Responses to “LOST: 316. “We’re not going to Guam, are we?””
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February 19th, 2009 at 12:32 am
I found your site on google blog search and read a few of your other posts. Keep up the good work. Just added your RSS feed to my feed reader. Look forward to reading more from you.
Karen Halls
February 27th, 2009 at 8:35 pm
Thanks Karen! Come back and see us occasionally. I’ve had the fortune of being new to Lost last year and literally watched the entire first four seasons over the course of spring and summer. I enjoyed it so much that I hired a guy that looks exactly like Desmond at my day job. Well, that was an afterthought, but there is an uncanny resemblance.