Archive for June, 2009
Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen — Damn You Michael Bay! A New Summer Cinema Low.
I believe that it may be in my best interests to forfeit my official position of being a mild Michael Bay apologist. Now I’m not completely bonkers, I’m not ranting on talkbacks about how he’s been snubbed for best director Oscars or anything, but the man is an entertainer. When he makes a film his number one goal is to do whatever he can to entertain the audience. Armageddon’s worst crime was not to moviegoers, it was to anyone with a basic knowledge of science. Other than that, I had a fun time with Armageddon. How often do you get to see Bruce Willis explode? With that out of the way, let me say that Michael Bay did not entertain me this weekend.
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Golf World Stunned as Photos of the Tiger Woods Assassination Attempt Surface on Wii Game Box!
The golfing world was shocked this month when the first photos of the assassination attempt on Tiger Woods surfaced on the box art of Tiger Woods PGA Tour 10, also known to unwashed hillbillies in Game Stop as Tiger Woods Oh-Ten. Okay, I actually caught myself about to say it, too. In any case, my first thoughts upon seeing the box art to the new Tiger Woods outing was “Back and to the Left, Back and to the Left.” Why would they put a picture of Woods being shot in the back of the neck with him grasping for the wound screaming in pain on the cover?
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Blu-ray Is Starting to Piss Me Off
I love the picture quality of Blu-ray. Love the sound, love the fact that they can cram untold extras into the massive storage capacity. It’s a movie-lover’s dream format. So why am I getting ready to chuck my Blu-ray player out a third-story window?
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Ghostbusters: The Video Game
I was a bit of a Ghostbusters fan in my younger days, so I was fairly excited for this game. Written by Dan Aykroyd and Harold Ramis, featuring the voice talents of the original cast, utilizing the authentic sound effects, considered to be the unofficial third film in the trilogy, this game is the closest you can get to being a Ghostbuster.
Turns out, being a Ghostbuster just isn’t all that fun.
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The Hangover Proves That Sometimes the Funniest Scenes are the Ones That Happen Off Screen
It’s a damn shame for Land of the Lost, I film that I liked unapologetically earlier this week that I have to follow it up with a comedy the caliber of The Hangover. While Land of the Lost gets its laughs mostly in the cheapest and sleaziest way possible (but, does get them), The Hangover reaches for the gonads of many of the standards of “guy” comedy and succeeds with much skill.
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Land of the Lost: Crude, Rude and Insulting…But Funny
I feel strongly that I’m about to issue a minority opinion of a film that is going to get a lot of crap from internet talkbackers. Even though you may have noticed from other reviews of mine, I almost never give an “unqualified” good or bad review to anything. One of my reviewing methodologies is to try to “qualify” my opinion by giving examples of what type of filmgoer may like or dislike a film on the opposite side of the fence of where I am. That being said, I feel that I must say before I give Land of the Lost a “qualified” personal and mostly positive review, I believe that I can accurately give you an assessment that will tell you whether there’s a snowball’s chance in hell that you’ll care for the film at all, so here it goes…
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Sony Motion Controller: Cooler, but Still So Very Unnecessary
Recently I wrote about Microsoft’s Project Natal, the full-body motion-tracking camera that will let you flail and wave to try and play video games. Now Sony has unveiled their motion controller with a fairly impressive, yet lengthy, tech demo.
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Project Natal: My Thumbs Work Fine, Thanks
One of the big stories to come out of this year’s E3 is Microsoft’s “Our Wii Is Bigger than Yours” throwdown to Nintendo in the form of Project Natal. Stealing the idea from Sony’s EyeToy failure, Project Natal is a camera that claims to offer full-body motion-tracking, as well as facial and voice recognition. So now instead of just waving your arms around to play games, you can jump around and flail your whole body! Awesome!
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Drag Me To Hell: Raimi Does Textbook Horror.
Here’s my prediction for the future of the Sam Raimi’s new horror film Drag Me To Hell. Next fall, when new textbooks are published for entry level film courses at USC and/or other distinguished film schools, the chapters on writing and directing are going to use Drag Me to Hell as the template for constructing horror films. While Raimi has spent the last several years making studio waves with the ultra successful Spiderman franchise, he continues to prove that the genre he knows as good or better than anyone else in the business is scares and thrills.
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Up: Thanks for the Adventure
I was worried about this one.
Don’t get me wrong, I love Pixar. I friggin’ adore Pixar. I’ve been a fan since my teacher showed us The Adventures of André and Wally B. back in the dim dark days of ninth-grade English. I was there opening day of Toy Story, and have been there every opening day since, always entertained, always delighted. Nine films and every one I’ve enjoyed, some more than others, but never disappointed.
But I was worried about this one.
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