Golf World Stunned as Photos of the Tiger Woods Assassination Attempt Surface on Wii Game Box!

Posted by ScuzzBuster

June 28, 2009

back_andtothe_left The golfing world was shocked this month when the first photos of the assassination attempt on Tiger Woods surfaced on the box art of Tiger Woods PGA Tour 10, also known to unwashed hillbillies in Game Stop as Tiger Woods Oh-Ten. Okay, I actually caught myself about to say it, too. In any case, my first thoughts upon seeing the box art to the new Tiger Woods outing was “Back and to the Left, Back and to the Left.” Why would they put a picture of Woods being shot in the back of the neck with him grasping for the wound screaming in pain on the cover?

At first, of course, I thought it was just a trick of the light caused by the shadows in Best Buy. You know, like the face on Mars (don’t start, folks, it’s nothing. It really is nothing but a mound of dirt). However, the more I looked at the box, the more it looked like the world’s best golfer was getting shot in the back of the neck. Then it struck me, obviously Carl Spackler must have been greenskeeper…

“Carl, I want you to kill all the gophers on the course.”
“Correct me if I’m wrong, Sandy, but if I kill all the golfers, they’ll lock me up and throw away the key.”

The only solution was to force my wife to buy me this game for Father’s Day. Perhaps I completely misunderstood the purpose of the new Wii MotionPlus controls. It is apparently a precision sniper weapon attachment.

Even though I was intrigued by the Wii MotionPlus, especially after seeing the Sony demo of their new motion controller (scroll down the home page for additional info) I wasn’t sure about using it for golf. I love my Wii, even with its many shortcomings, but I’m not really about using it for things like golf where you actually mimic the game. Console golf games are difficult enough to get really good at with the precision timing. Part of the reason I play golf on consoles is because I can’t golf for real worth a crap, so is having to actually duplicate real golf supposed to help my scores at Pebble Beach?

wiimotionplus It’s not so bad. Even though you get the “experience” of golf, Tiger Woods 10 is actually much easier using the MotionPlus. Not because of all that extra “precision,” but because the developers of the Wii version knew damned well that for this to be a showcase for the new attachment players were going to have to feel like it was improving the experience. The game with the Wii Motion gives you a ton of room for error. It’s still a challenge, but nowhere near trying not to slice the damned ball into the trees on the right side of a narrow fairway with an Xbox controller.

I do dig console/computer golf games ever since pounding through Links on my Mac years ago, but I really haven’t played them much recently. The MotionPlus is what gravitated me toward the Wii version of the game. I figured I would be needing two of them, and I’ll pick up the second when Wii Sports 2 comes out in July.

gfx_so_2002 Overall, Tiger Woods 10 is a great golf game just like most of the Tiger Woods series. However, it’s also another fine example of the graphics power of the Wii. Woods 10 doesn’t even approach Tiger Woods 08 on Xbox 360. In fact, I would say it’s hard pressed to be in the league of the original Xbox. Still, it’s not really a game that requires much in that respect. It underutilizes what the Wii can do. The water and grass in TW10 doesn’t even compare to the water and grass in Super Mario Galaxy.

The one thing that is really disappointing about TW10 is the Disc Golf. I don’t know exactly what the deal is with that. It’s apparently made for someone about 3 feet tall because you have to hold the Wiimote at such an outrageously odd angle to hold the Frisbee flat that it’s almost unplayable for me and my 12 year old son. discgolf Both of us were confounded by this. The Frisbee golf in Super Monkey Ball Banana Blitz was much more natural.
Since this is not really intended to be a full fledged review of the game or the new Wii controller, I’ll let it ride by saying that I have no regret for this purchase over the Xbox version. Golf games are not really the games that are showcased by the power of a console even if they do look a lot better on a Microsoft or Sony piece of hardware.

One regret though is that this damned new Wiimote adapter makes my Wiimote recharging station worthless, even if does pretty much live up to the extra precision claims. It’s a noticeable difference.

To circle back around to the assassination of Tiger Woods, once you get into the menu or see the box art without the logos over his torso, it becomes quite obvious that the shot is of him bending his body backwards and pumping his fist in the air in celebration. Odd how the illusion created be just getting part of the picture is considerably more interesting than the real image.

woodfull

Sorry to my half a dozen readers that I’ve been lagging on my reviews and posts this month, but excessively long work weeks of 70-80 hours (at my paying job) have put a damper on my Deviant Knowledge work. In fact, as I pound this out, I am in the weird position of having not touched my personal laptop for 7 solid days up until now. I’ve never gone more than 48 hours before. No worries though, I’ve spent countless hours on my work issued Dell Dimension whatever the hell — used it 2 years and I don’t even know the model, 610 maybe?

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