Asteroids: The Movie
It’s official: Hollywood is out of ideas. Word is coming out now that Universal has won the rights (outbidding three other studios) to make a film adaptation of the video game Asteroids.
Yes, the one with the spaceship and the rocks made out of lines. 
Now, my question is not even “How?” but “Why?” They’ve already said they’ll have to create a plot from scratch since the original game, you know, didn’t have one, so why dump a bunch of cash on Atari’s doorstep just for the name Asteroids? Make your own asteroid-based film and just call it something else. “Maelstrom,” maybe. “The Corridor.” Hell, even “Giant Floating Rocks of Death.” I’m just saying that “spaceship shoots rocks” is not such an original idea that you had to buy the property to make the movie.
But I suppose I shouldn’t be too surprised since two of Universal’s upcoming projects are big-screen adaptations of the board games “Battleship” and “Candyland.” Yes, “Candyland: The Movie.”
This is why I don’t go to movies anymore.
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2 Responses to “Asteroids: The Movie”
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July 3rd, 2009 at 11:49 pm
What’s next, a weely series about Pac-Man or the Rubik’s Cube? Wait…
July 4th, 2009 at 1:28 am
Can’t believe I left this out. The other big tie-in movie VIEWMASTER: THE MOVIE! I wish I could say that was a joke. At least Asteroids had MOVING images.