WiiWare Find of the Month: Swords and Soldiers Brings the RTS Genre to a 2-D Side Scroller
One of the saving graces for the Nintendo Wii in the console wars is the outstanding catalog of WiiWare titles along with the increasing catalog of classic titles in the Virtual Console world. I love the Wii, but I’ve made no bones about the fact that it has major shortcomings that it has had to overcome to attain its popularity. The innovative titles hitting the WiiWare section of the online shop are a huge plus. Of course, with every huge “plus” on the Wii comes a major “beware” factor, and this one is that the Wii’s severely limited on-board and expandable memory it doesn’t have the flexibility to allow downloadable demos of the titles, leaving it to idiots like me to gamble the money and let you know how the gamble turns out. This time, we have a phenomenally fun title that takes RTS gaming into the world of 2-D side scrollers. This combination of two genres we never thought would mix called Swords and Soldiers is a genuinely fun and addictive investment.
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Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince: No Way Weasley Shouldn’t Be All Over that Granger Chic
In the desperate rush to adapt all the Harry Potter novels before the stars of this popular film series become grandparents we’ve come to the sixth film, 
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. I have mixed feelings about this film series. I’ve never read one word of any of the books, but I understand the obsession of original fantasy/sci-fi works on young minds. I thought the first film, was quite good. The Chamber of Secrets was a rather bland follow up in my assessment and kind of what I expected. A good start followed by progressively less exciting followups until the money train finally dries up. I was wrong. I was actually surprised at how good Goblet of Fire was, best of the three. Progressively, every film in the series since has gotten better.
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Bruno: A Funny but Flawed Film That Reinforces Rather than Refutes Negative Stereotypes
I’ll admit that I was completely uninspired to see Borat when it hit theaters and indeed I didn’t. When I finally caught it on DVD later I was actually astounded that I liked it as well as I did. Apart from the shocking and funny moments in Borat, it really has a pretty important subtext about current U.S. cultural values, intolerance, and anti-semitism. I’m not touting Borat as an educational film, but it certainly manages to create some rather uncomfortable moments when showing real people at their worst. Bruno tries to brew some of the same cultural controversy around acceptance of homosexuality, but utterly fails.
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Asteroids: The Movie
It’s official: Hollywood is out of ideas. Word is coming out now that Universal has won the rights (outbidding three other studios) to make a film adaptation of the video game Asteroids.
Yes, the one with the spaceship and the rocks made out of lines. 
Now, my question is not even “How?” but “Why?” They’ve already said they’ll have to create a plot from scratch since the original game, you know, didn’t have one, so why dump a bunch of cash on Atari’s doorstep just for the name Asteroids? Make your own asteroid-based film and just call it something else. “Maelstrom,” maybe. “The Corridor.” Hell, even “Giant Floating Rocks of Death.” I’m just saying that “spaceship shoots rocks” is not such an original idea that you had to buy the property to make the movie.
But I suppose I shouldn’t be too surprised since two of Universal’s upcoming projects are big-screen adaptations of the board games “Battleship” and “Candyland.” Yes, “Candyland: The Movie.”
This is why I don’t go to movies anymore.
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Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen — Damn You Michael Bay! A New Summer Cinema Low.
I believe that it may be in my best interests to forfeit my official position of being a mild Michael Bay apologist. Now I’m not completely bonkers, I’m not ranting on talkbacks about how he’s been snubbed for best director Oscars or anything, but the man is an entertainer. When he makes a film his number one goal is to do whatever he can to entertain the audience. Armageddon’s worst crime was not to moviegoers, it was to anyone with a basic knowledge of science. Other than that, I had a fun time with Armageddon. How often do you get to see Bruce Willis explode? With that out of the way, let me say that Michael Bay did not entertain me this weekend.
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Golf World Stunned as Photos of the Tiger Woods Assassination Attempt Surface on Wii Game Box!
The golfing world was shocked this month when the first photos of the assassination attempt on Tiger Woods surfaced on the box art of Tiger Woods PGA Tour 10, also known to unwashed hillbillies in Game Stop as Tiger Woods Oh-Ten. Okay, I actually caught myself about to say it, too. In any case, my first thoughts upon seeing the box art to the new Tiger Woods outing was “Back and to the Left, Back and to the Left.” Why would they put a picture of Woods being shot in the back of the neck with him grasping for the wound screaming in pain on the cover?
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Blu-ray Is Starting to Piss Me Off
I love the picture quality of Blu-ray. Love the sound, love the fact that they can cram untold extras into the massive storage capacity. It’s a movie-lover’s dream format. So why am I getting ready to chuck my Blu-ray player out a third-story window?
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Ghostbusters: The Video Game
I was a bit of a Ghostbusters fan in my younger days, so I was fairly excited for this game. Written by Dan Aykroyd and Harold Ramis, featuring the voice talents of the original cast, utilizing the authentic sound effects, considered to be the unofficial third film in the trilogy, this game is the closest you can get to being a Ghostbuster.
Turns out, being a Ghostbuster just isn’t all that fun.
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The Hangover Proves That Sometimes the Funniest Scenes are the Ones That Happen Off Screen
It’s a damn shame for Land of the Lost, I film that I liked unapologetically earlier this week that I have to follow it up with a comedy the caliber of The Hangover. While Land of the Lost gets its laughs mostly in the cheapest and sleaziest way possible (but, does get them), The Hangover reaches for the gonads of many of the standards of “guy” comedy and succeeds with much skill.
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Land of the Lost: Crude, Rude and Insulting…But Funny
I feel strongly that I’m about to issue a minority opinion of a film that is going to get a lot of crap from internet talkbackers. Even though you may have noticed from other reviews of mine, I almost never give an “unqualified” good or bad review to anything. One of my reviewing methodologies is to try to “qualify” my opinion by giving examples of what type of filmgoer may like or dislike a film on the opposite side of the fence of where I am. That being said, I feel that I must say before I give Land of the Lost a “qualified” personal and mostly positive review, I believe that I can accurately give you an assessment that will tell you whether there’s a snowball’s chance in hell that you’ll care for the film at all, so here it goes…
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